Spirit Feast: Honoring Ancestors and Spirits in October

In the heart of my home—a 94-year-old craftsman-style beauty in the town of Phoenixville, PA—I’ve created an ancestor altar on the mantle of my fireplace. The fireplace itself, flanked by two stained-glass windows that glow with the colors of the setting sun, is the hearth, the soul of this house.

I’ve lovingly named my home Bonnie, “pretty girl,” and this October, I want to celebrate her with an “open house” for the spirits. Each evening, I will invite the spirits to gather around her sacred hearth, culminating in a “spirit feast” on Samhain—the Celtic festival marking the thinning of the veil between worlds. During the spirit feast, all spirits will be welcomed to partake in the offerings and share the company of my ancestors.

Standing sentinel in front of the hearth underneath the mantel is a watchman statue I acquired years ago, long before I had a home for him to guard. Now, he watches over Bonnie and all who enter. Above him, in the center of the mantle, is a large black-and-white portrait of my great-grandfather, a stoic figure born in the late 1800s, who gazes down with an air of quiet authority, a reminder of my roots and the strength of the family lineage.

spirit feast altar paternal — Photos of my paternal ancestors include my great-grandfather, my grandfather, my grandmother, my father, and my aunt.

The mantle itself is adorned with treasures—each piece a story, a memory. There are small, framed photos of my ancestors, their images captured in old-fashioned frames that evoke the timelessness of their presence. Angel figurines offer protection, and a totem of spirit animals calls upon nature’s guardians. A wood carving of an African warrior, discovered in an antique shop on my journey home from a spiritual retreat last month, stands proud among the keepsakes.

Among the trinkets are my maternal grandmother’s pillbox, a small yet deeply significant item, and a set of candles shaped like a pilgrim man and woman. These candles once graced our Thanksgiving table every year—a reminder of family traditions. A beautiful glass dish gifted to me by my paternal grandmother holds remembrance cards, photos, and other paper keepsakes, a collection of cherished moments preserved in delicate form.

Intention: Each evening in October and the first few days of November, I will light candles and incense, inviting the spirits into this sacred space. I will reflect on the connection between the past and present, between this hearth—Bonnie’s heart—and the spirits who come to visit, as I honor them one by one.

As the nights grow longer and the weather gets cooler this month, I am hopeful that there will be opportunities for me to light a fire in the fireplace. I recently acquired a beautifully detailed cast iron fireback featuring a proud horse etched in relief. The image reminds me of the wild ponies of Assateague and my beloved kitten, Ember, who passed away there just a little over a month ago. Sitting by the warmth of the fire, surrounded by these meaningful symbols, will add an extra layer of connection to the spirits during my rituals.

Spirit Feast Daily Reflections:

Each day in October while the veil is thin, I will be making time each evening to honor a guest individually. By the end of the month, my altar will be full of mementos and tokens that reflect those I’ve welcomed into my home. Their names are written in a guest book, creating a lasting memory of their visit. I will post updates each day reflecting on the time I spent the previous evening, and I will set an intention for the guest I plan to honor that night so I can prepare for their arrival.

10.01.2024: Honoring My Grandmother

On the first night, last night, I honored my paternal grandmother, the matriarch of our family, whose role I now find myself embracing. I spent time in deep reflection, surrounded by her presence as I read through her handwritten recipes and looked at the cards she gave me—each one a work of art, crafted from her watercolor paintings, then carefully scanned and printed. In her honor, I created a kind of “word search,” writing down and connecting words that captured her essence: “family,” “traditions,” “cousins,” “peanut butter cake,” and so many more.

I thought of the piano in her house, a symbol of countless memories—her playing softly, the family gathered around it, and one Christmas where we caroled together, the sound of the metronome ticking steadily above. She once tried to give me piano lessons but with little success. Still, the memory of her patient teaching stays with me. To honor that, I found an app with a metronome, and its rhythmic ticking filled the quiet room, just as it had in hers, connecting me back to those moments in her presence. As I reflected on these memories, her wisdom and love seemed to fill the space, guiding me as they always have.

10.02.2024: Honoring My Maternal Grandmother

Last night, I drew the “Enchanted” card from my Earthly Souls & Spirits Moon Oracle deck, and that led me to select my maternal grandmother as my ancestor to honor for the evening. As I read my grandmother’s obituary and looked at her photo, I began to remember the magical summer days I spent as a child playing in her backyard. I remembered the fresh wash carefully hung on the clothesline, the whispering leaves of the trees, and the sweet smell of lilacs. I remember shelling lima beans with her on the porch and then having lima beans and freshly sliced tomatoes for “supper” followed by either vanilla ice cream or a bowl of frozen blueberries with sugar and milk. Best of all, I remembered the special nickname that she used for me, Christie. She was the only person in the world who has ever called me that.

My grandmother was a homemaker. She led a simple life, but it was a happy life, focused on caring for her home, her yard and garden, and my grandfather. I didn’t see her often, but when I did, she shifted her focus, giving me and my brother 100% of her time and attention.

Both of my grandmothers were very influential in shaping me into the person that I have become. I always aspired to be just like them, and I believe I have achieved that goal.

10.02.2024: Honoring Hekate on Deipnon

Later, under the new moon (or dark moon), I honored my matron goddess, Hekate for Deipnon, a sacred time for clearing, reflection, and offering. Hekate is the Goddess of Magic, the Mother of Witchcraft. She is the watcher of the crossroads, the bearer of the torch, and the keeper of the keys, revealing secrets and opening doors. She helps guide me through transitions and is my protector. I left an offering of garlic, cake, and honey at the crossroads behind my home, and I placed a key on my altar to symbolize her dominion over choices and thresholds.

Tomorrow night, I will continue honoring the feminine energy of my ancestors by inviting my Aunt Barbara to be my honored guest.

10.03.2024: Honoring My Aunt Barbara

Yesterday, I selected a pale yellow rose tinged with pink from my garden. It was actually the only rose in my garden, and it was in full bloom. As soon as I saw it, I knew it was the perfect gift to place upon my altar in my Aunt Barbara’s memory. Although it has already been nearly 14 years since she passed away from cancer at the age of 61, it still seems hard to believe that she is no longer with us here on Earth. She was truly an angel, and the impact she had on my life was … and is … immeasurable.

My Aunt Barbara was filled with light and love. She had always been in my life, and all of my memories of her are good ones. From her helping me with my 3rd grade math homework to her dancing in the living room with me and my cousins to Billy Joel albums, she was just so very present and gave of herself without any expectations in return. Even now, I believe she is still present, visiting me often in the dream realms.

She was there for me when I was a troubled teen, a period that lasted well into my 20s. And, then, when I had children at a very young age, she was there for them, too.

Thank you for loving me, Aunt Barbara. You may be gone, but you will never be forgotten.

10.04.2024: Honoring Bonnie & The Watchman

Today, when I was thinking about tonight’s open house and wondering which guest to honor, I realized that the house needed some cleaning. As I cleaned, swept, and washed dishes, I imagined the original owner of this house doing the very same things I was doing now. I wondered how many families had actually lived in this house before us and if they loved her as much as I do.

As I fluffed pillows, rearranged some of my fall decorations, and spent time with my grandchildren, I felt the feminine energy from the past several days wash over me. I knew that Bonnie was here and that she was happy. She felt loved, and she had a family to love once again.

I sat in front of the hearth, holding a teddy bear that I had just picked up from the floor while I was straightening up. And then, I felt the gaze of The Watchman, standing tall and proud just a few feet away, and I realized that he was here, too, watching over Bonnie … and watching over us, the people she loved. I placed the teddy bear at the foot of The Watchman, a small token of our appreciation for watching over us.

I pulled a card from my moon oracle deck and I received a message of Hope:

“The work we put in now will pave the way for our future generations. Children will grow up and know that hope truly does exist because you had hope and turned your dreams into reality for their generation. Continue to lead by example.” ~ A message of Hope from Bonnie & The Watchman

I also wrote the following passage into my guest notes, a message for future generations, “Bonnie likes her hardwood trim, floors, and mantle. Please do not paint them. And, she likes her watchman. Please don’t move him from her hearth. She also likes our ancestor altar and our family. In fact, she wants to stay in our family forever.”

10.05.2024: Honoring My Father

Last night was a tough one because I am still struggling with my feelings for my father. It hasn’t quite been three years since he passed and he and I were estranged for ten years before that. I did see him twice in his last days, but obviously, that is not much time to resolve decades of confusing emotions.

The photo that I chose to display of him on my altar is one from when he was a teenager. A time before he had me, before he met my mother. I often wonder what his life would have been like if he had never met her or had me and my brothers. Would he still have turned to drugs and alcohol?

I looked at the photos of him while he was young, of his sister, my Aunt Barbara, while she was young, and of him as a boy with his father, my grandfather. I looked at the photos of his mother, my grandmother, and of his grandparents, my great-grandparents. I wondered what type of family they were back then and if there was family trauma that I was unaware of.

I pulled a card from my moon oracle deck and I received a message of Harmony:

“Aspire to achieve balance, order, rhythm and harmony. This will align you with the universe. Your mind, body and soul will be at peace and you will emanate health.”

I hope that my father has finally achieved harmony. I choose to believe that he has.

10.06.2024: Honoring My Father-in-Law

Although I never met him because he passed away five years before I met Chuck, I did visit his grave at the Quantico National Cemetery ten years ago. Last night, building upon the masculine energy left by my father the previous night, Chuck and I honored his father.

In preparation, I printed out my father-in-law’s obituary and a photo of my husband at his gravesite. In the afternoon, I decided to walk up to the graveyards that I like to visit. I was thinking about Chuck’s father, also nick-named Chuck, and I walked to one of the graveyards I haven’t been to before and went straight to this headstone:

Of course, it was not his grave; he is buried 6 hours away. Chuck is actually the last name of the person(s) buried there, not the first, but it was still pretty cool and seemed like a sign. I spent some time there and burned incense. I was still feeling a certain way about my own father, and I know that my husband still has some unresolved issues around his own. I drew the moon oracle card, “Serenity,” and the message was, “Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.” ~ Gautama Buddha

I realized that this gift was for me and my husband. That we had expectations that our fathers did not live up to, but it was time to accept that even if they want to change the past, they cannot. It is time to let the past go and just accept that they were human and flawed.

I walked around the graveyard and felt saddened by the construction all around it. Two new townhome communities are being built and will displace even more wildlife. Just last week, a young deer was struck by a car right in front of my house. It had a broken leg, and I watched from the window as a police officer held it down while another one slit its throat, leaving it to bleed out on the sidewalk. I walked over and petted its head while its spirit left its broken body.

On the way home, this happened:

For many minutes, I stood face to face, gazing into the eyes of a magnificent buck that stood eye level, just six feet away from me. I took his picture, and I said the only words that came to mind, “I know. And, I’m sorry.”

When I shared this photo with my sister-in-law, she said, “That’s a big papa!” It sure is. So much masculine energy!

In the evening, we lit candles and incense, and my husband went up to the attic and brought down a box of mementos. I stayed quiet as he went through the photos. I saw his face light up as he basked in some happy childhood memories. He was clearly proud when he showed me photos of his father, who was always dressed in a suit and commanded respect. I asked him if he had anything of his father’s, and he said he had given him a commemorative U.S. Marines silver coin. We searched a few places in our home until we found it and added it to our altar. Chuck also picked out a few photos of his father to add to our scrapbook.

Side note: In ancient Celtic and Gallo-Roman religion, Cernunnos or Carnonos is a god depicted with antlers, seated cross-legged, and is associated with stags, horned serpents, dogs and bulls. He is usually shown holding or wearing a torc and sometimes holding a bag of coins (or grain) and a cornucopia. Within the Wiccan tradition, the Horned God reflects the seasons of the year in an annual cycle of life, death and rebirth and his imagery is a blend of the Gaulish god Cernunnos, the Greek god Pan, The Green Man motif, and various other horned spirit imagery.

I had actually been leaning towards the Goddess movement and the Sacred Feminine, believing in only a goddess or goddesses, but I think maybe I need to rethink that. Most Wiccans believe in two main deities: a horned male god and a moon goddess. Many Wiccans view the changing of the seasons through the lens of the Triple Goddess, also known as the Moon Goddess. Maiden in the Spring and early Summer, when nature is fertile and in a time of rebirth. From the Summer through the harvest season, when nature bears fruit, Mother. Finally, during the late Fall and Winter, Crone. A time when nature experiences death and decay before starting all over again in the Spring. I read that the story of the Holly King and the Oak King is a similar way to view the lifecycle of the Horned God. Many see the Two Kings as the duality of the Horned God, also known as the Sun God.

Is the Horned God reaching out to me? I am still unsure, but I am open to experience and learn. I will add him to my guest list.

Another side note: After the first week, I am quite exhausted and feel a little mental for lack of a better term. I am allowing myself to sleep in, and I spent some time doing some “normal stuff,” like working, laundry, and watering my garden to help me stay grounded. I also feel like I am delving into necromancy, but I also realize that everything I know about the Horned God, necromancy, etc., was viewed from a distorted lens from my childhood. I no longer believe in the Devil or in “good” vs. “evil” and I feel that I am on the right path, so I intend to keep following it and see where it takes me. On the other hand, perhaps I should start being a little cautious and do a little more protection magick than I have been up until now.

10.07.2024: A Day of Rest

I took a break last night and think I might take a few more days to rest. I am feeling quite exhausted, and I don’t think I can keep up with this pace, considering all of my other responsibilities and preparing for a work trip at the end of the month.

Future Guests:

The Horned God
My Paternal Grandfather
My Maternal Grandfather
My Paternal Great-Grandfather & Great-Grandmother
My Maternal Great-Grandparents
Chuck’s Mom & Sister
10.13.2024: The Land Spirits
10.14.2024: Indigenous American People
The Triple Moon Goddess
The Dark Mother – Kali Ma – The name Kali means Kala or force of time. When there were neither the creation, nor the sun, the moon, the planets, or the earth, there was only darkness, and everything was created from the darkness. The dark appearance of Kali represents the darkness from which everything was born. Under the third eye of Kali, the signs of both sun, moon, and fire are visible, representing the driving forces of nature. Kali is not always thought of as a Dark Goddess. Despite Kali’s origins in battle, she evolved to a full-fledged symbol of Mother Nature in her creative, nurturing and devouring aspects.
Lilith
African Ancestors

Honoring Cross-Cultural Traditions (October 27 – November 3)

As our family has grown and blended, I’ve come to appreciate and celebrate the rich cultural heritage that we share. In particular, I want to honor my grandchildren’s Mexican roots and incorporate elements of their traditions into my spiritual practice. While I’ve only been celebrating Samhain for a few years, it feels like a natural progression to merge my chosen spiritual path with Día de los Muertos as my daughter has done. Both traditions offer a chance to honor the ancestors and spirits, and as I continue to embrace this blend, I find that it deepens my connection to the past, to my family, and to the spirits I honor.

By incorporating these cross-cultural practices, I hope to create a space that reflects not just my own journey, but also the heritage of those I love. It is in this spirit that I prepare for the special days of offering, honoring not just the ancestors of my bloodline, but also the ancestors of those who are now part of my heart.

October 27th – Honoring My Pets:
As I prepare for the culmination of this month-long feast, I will take time to honor my pets who have passed. These beloved souls have left paw prints on my heart, and through this ritual, I honor their spirits by placing figurines and photos on my altar. It’s a way to remember the unconditional love they gave and keep their memory alive.
October 28th – Lost Souls:
I will set aside this night for the lost souls—those who have wandered, seeking peace, but have not yet found their way. Through my ritual, I hope to offer them solace, a moment of rest, and a guiding light toward peace.
October 29th – Forgotten Souls:
Those whose names have faded from memory deserve to be honored, too. Forgotten souls, lost to time, still deserve recognition. I will light candles in their name, offering a moment of remembrance for those who have been overlooked or forgotten by the living.
October 30th – Those Who Died Tragically:
This night is dedicated to those who suffered tragic deaths. I will offer my prayers for their healing, lighting a candle to guide their spirits toward peace. These souls often carry pain and sorrow, and I hope to offer a sense of closure and calm.
October 31st – The Ancestors (Samhain Party):
Samhain is the night when I will hold a full “spirit feast party” for my ancestors. This night is a celebration of those who came before, who paved the way for me and my family. My altar will be filled with offerings, photographs, and cherished heirlooms, as I celebrate their lives and their continued presence in mine.
November 1st – Spirits of Deceased Children:
On All Saints’ Day, I will honor the spirits of children who have passed. This is a gentle and loving night of remembrance for those whose lives were cut short. I will offer small toys and figurines at my altar to honor their spirits and reflect on their innocence and purity.
November 2nd – Día de los Muertos (All Souls Party):
Día de los Muertos is a celebration of all souls. On this night, I will be attending a family party and will welcome all spirits to my home, holding a joyous celebration in their honor. This is a time for connection and remembrance, a time to honor all who have crossed the veil. Food, drink, and music will fill the space, creating a lively celebration for all who are remembered.
November 3rd – Farewell Until Next Year:
After the festivities, I will bid farewell to the spirits until next year. I will reflect on the month-long journey, the wisdom gained, and the deep connections formed. As I close this chapter, I will thank the spirits for their presence and guidance, knowing they will return when the veil is thin again.

Ongoing Work:

Throughout this journey, I will continue to work on my family ancestor scrapbook, ensuring that every member of my family, past and present, is honored in some way. I am also honoring my house, Bonnie, by cleaning her and learning more about her 95-year history. Bonnie is as much a part of my life as any ancestor, and through this process, I am deepening my connection to her.

Additionally, I will be honoring the spirits of the Native Americans who once roamed this land. As I walk on the earth, I remember their presence and offer my respect and gratitude for the land they cared for long before I called it home.

Conclusion:

As the spirit feast culminates in Samhain and Día de los Muertos, I am reminded of the deep interconnection between the living and the dead, the seen and the unseen. This month is a time for reflection, remembrance, and connection. By honoring my ancestors and the spirits around me, I strengthen my bond with the past and the present, creating a foundation of respect and love that will carry forward into the future.

This “open house” is not just a ritual—it’s an invitation to the spirit world to join me in celebration, reflection, and growth. While this year’s spirit feast will end on November 3rd, the connection with the spirits I honor will remain ever-present in my life.