Ask Grandma: How Do I Practice Witchcraft When My Partner Doesn’t Believe?

Lately, I’ve been thinking about starting a new series here on Grandma’s Grimoire—something heartfelt and down-to-earth, a space where readers can ask real questions and receive thoughtful, witchy wisdom in return. Something like Ask Grandma or Ask a Witch… the kind of advice column I wish I had when I was starting out.

And then this letter came in.

It was so honest and tender, I knew it had to be the first. So here we are: the very first post in what I hope becomes a long-running series of connection, encouragement, and magic.

Dear Grandma,
“Thank you very much for the enlightening article! I enjoyed it very much.
I am a baby witch and am hoping to gather as much information as I can. Especially so I can incorporate magic in my life without making my partner uncomfortable. He knows and respects my views but due to his religious upbringing struggles with any type of religious beliefs.
Would you have any tips on how to practice without lying? For example, I am going to add pots in our garden and plant seeds for rosemary, thyme, primrose, verbena, bluebells, marigolds, comfrey etc both for nature’s benefit but also to (hopefully) attract the little folk, make tinctures and such. The only part I told my partner was because they’re pretty, attract pollinators and smell good. Or is withholding part of the truth both wrong and would insult the spirits?
I apologize for the rant. I don’t have a community to ask.” ~ Maartje

Dear Maartje,
Thank you for your beautiful message—and never apologize for speaking from the heart. You’re not ranting. You’re reaching out, and in doing so, you’ve already started weaving the threads of community. You’re home here.

Your question is one many new witches face, especially those walking beside loved ones who don’t share—or may even be wary of—spiritual paths outside their own. It can feel like you’re caught between worlds, trying to honor both your partner’s comfort and your soul’s calling. But you are already doing that with such grace.

Let’s start with the heart of your practice: intention. You’re planting herbs and flowers not just for their beauty or usefulness, but for the unseen layers of meaning they carry—for magic, healing, and connection. Your intention is the magic. Whether spoken aloud or held in your heart, the spirits of the land and the little folk will hear it. They don’t require your partner to believe—they just need you to.

And no, you are not lying. You’re speaking to your partner in a language he understands. There’s a quiet kind of truth in saying rosemary smells good and attracts bees—even if you also know it’s a guardian herb, a purifier, a protector. One truth doesn’t erase the other.

In fact, this balance you’re striking? That is witchcraft. It’s the dance between seen and unseen. Between honoring the sacred and moving through the mundane. Between planting seeds for the pollinators and whispering wishes to the wind. The spirits understand subtlety. They know how to listen between the lines.

It’s also okay to let your magic evolve in private, like a garden growing in secret until the first flower blooms. Some partners do eventually grow curious. Others simply come to appreciate the peace and beauty that magic brings into their home, even if they never name it as such.

You’re not practicing in opposition to your partner—you’re practicing in relationship to him, to your home, to the land, and to your truth. That is something to be proud of.

So light your candles. Stir your teas with intention. Plant your seeds with love and whisper blessings into the soil. This is your path. And you are walking it wisely.

And remember—you do have a community now. Grandma’s Grimoire is here for you. Ask questions. Share your journey. You are not alone.

With love and moonlight,
Grandma

P.S. Do you have a question for Grandma or one of our practicing witches? Whether you’re brand new to the craft or a seasoned traveler, we’d love to hear from you. Drop your question in the comments below, on one of our articles, or send us a message by replying to our emails. Your question might just be featured in a future “Ask Grandma” post.

Grandma

For as long as I can remember, I always wanted to be a Grandma. I was fortunate to have two wonderful grandmothers while I was growing up and I have many happy memories of each of them. Today, I live in a “Grandmother’s House” where my husband and I enjoy lots of time with our family. In addition to my role as Grandma to nine grandchildren, I am a daughter, a wife, a mother of three grown children, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a writer, an artist … and a witch.

✨Grandma’s Grimoire✨ is a collection of family wisdom interwoven with a touch of magick. Our goal is to create a living and lasting legacy that we hope will inspire our future generations as well as anyone who is drawn to it.